DON'T READ THIS IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE FILM YET (unless you don't care about finding out what happens)
I thought it was probably time to write a short little something about what was probably the most anticipated film of the year for many people, Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (which people are actually referring to as KOTCS. They actually are).
I think the fact that no-one's really been talking about it very much at all since it came out pretty much sums up the whole experience for me. It really didn't make much of a big impact on me, negative or positive. Of course, it will have made an incredible amount of money, but watching the actual film for me was such an uninspiring experience, that even though I watched it 10 days ago, I don't think I have thought about it once since.
Even with Episode One I thought about the lightsabre fights afterwards and still talk about them today!
Not to say that this film was anything like as bad as that pile of crap. But it was just so bland. I don't think I really got excited at one scene, *especially* the end. And that is a pretty hard feat to pull off with such a fantastically textured character as Indiana Jones that George and Steven had to play with.
There were four main problems with the film for me, all of which should have been recognised before production even started.
1. Too much action
2. Too many characters
3. Poorly edited and lacked any real narrative arc
4. It was about aliens.
Let me go over those in some more detail.
1. All of the Indiana Jones films are proper action films on some level, of course. They all featured 'unbelievable' moments (such as the more mystical or religious moments, or some ludicrous stunts), but all of those were forgiven by the fans because they were not only in a good old fashioned spirit of fun, but were also totally justified by the context. Each of the original films was grounded in reality on some level, and all of the crazy moments had a long buildup with a climax that seemed right. In this film, however, the crazy moments start from the first reel. The fridge business was a cheap laugh, frankly, and to put it in so early was to signal that the makers just weren't taking this film seriously at all. The action was relentless, and somehow unusually hollow for Spielberg. What on earth were those ants about? They had no justification or basis in anything. Neither did the Tarzan scene, or the random attack on Shia and Indy by those guys in masks. There was just too much of everything, and I am afraid to say that I actually stopped caring at some points. Because of a lack of decent buildup, there were *no* sequences that came close to the intensity of, for example, the tank scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark, the bridge scene in Temple of Doom, or the boat-chopping-up scene or grail-reaching moment in Last Crusade.
2. Not only were there too many characters, but not nearly enough time was spent on developing them. Last Crusade worked so well because Indy and Sean spent most of the film together, just them. In this one, we have a group of five people running around, for really no reason at all. Indy's Mrs had a few OK lines, but it felt like she was there just for the sake of it. Ray Winstone was totally pointless, and his character was unconvincing and very badly written and thought out. And the John Hurt character never really paid off in the way that he should have. I'm assuming there was a lot left on the cutting room floor there. Shia was pretty good though, in my opinion, but I wish the film could have been more about his relationship with Indy. I can't help but think that is they'd calmed down and focussed on that, then it could have been about Indy 'finally' growing up and maybe a new found responsiblity, and an end to risk-taking, or something like that. Cate Blanchett was ridiculous and not menacing or scary. Believers will probably point to the crazy Nazi guy in the first film as a precedent for such a silly character, but despite his panto-ness, he remained very threatening and disturbing, whereas Cate just had a stupid haircut and SWORD!
3. The whole thing often felt like a series of random scenes that George and Steven had storyboarded on napkins in the bar at Skywalker Ranch or something. I can only hope that they actually had a really good story, but had to cut out all the bits that made it make sense, or made you care, for time reasons. But they really should have watched some of the old films first, then taken another look at things like motivations of characters and development of themes before greenlighting a script that apparently took 20 years to write!
4. George Lucas is an idiot. I can only assume it was he who decided that it would be a really good idea to have aliens in Indiana Jones. It really wasn't a good idea. If they had waited until the very very very last scene to suggest that *maybe* there were aliens involved somehow, or if it had been left a mystery or something, then maybe that would have been pretty cool, but it was *confirmed* pretty early on that it was indeed aliens that were involved here. Haven't we heard enough about Roswell and all that crap already? And the way they did it was also very messy. Again, I think a lot of story was cut, as the random throwaway line at the end was stupid, stupid, stupid, and completely unecessary. As I recall, after the flying saucer took off, someone said:
"where are they going? space?"
then John Hurt's character said:
"no, a space BETWEEN space"
following on from some bizarre comment about the aliens being interdimensional beings earlier in the film. I mean, seriously. What the hell are they talking about, and why? It really took away from the impact of everything else that happened. Gone was the mythology or religious power of the other films. And, very worst of all, this really wasn't an original story at all. Ever read the Tintin book Flight 714? George and Steven are big Tintin fans, apparently. When you actually saw an actual alien at the end, I couldn't quite believe what I was seeing. You could feel the whole cinema sigh at the same time - as if to say: "oh. right, well I don't care about any of this any more then."
Conclusion!
I don't mean to sound like I hated this film, because I really didn't. The fact that I am such a sad bastard and have written so much about it shows that I do feel passionately about it though. There were also some fantastic moments in the film, and I liked the wedding ending. But I think part of the problem was that Indiana Jones had really only existed in one era, with one personality (and age!) until this film came out. It was always going to be different to reconcile Indy to a new world, and a new age and situation. They made a try (I particularly liked the Communist witchunt style firing of Indy), but tried too hard to make it like an old Indy film, and compensated for the fact that it never could be by inserting too much action.
What frustrates me is that, as with Star Wars, this film had not only a nearly infinite potential budget, but had two decades in which to have been thought through. And they still kind of messed it up, which I think is pretty unforgivable. It should have been new and original, though in the style and spirit of the first films. But it just paid lip service to the new world and age, and never really got to grips with it, instead inserting more and more pointless, confusing, and uninspiring strands to the movie.
I also couldn't help thinking that if this wasn't an Indiana Jones film, it might not be worth watching at all (verging, but not quite, on Tomb Raider or *shudder* National Treasure at times).
But what dissapoints me most is that this film is EXACTLY what I thought it was going to be: dissapointing and pointless!
I thought it was probably time to write a short little something about what was probably the most anticipated film of the year for many people, Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (which people are actually referring to as KOTCS. They actually are).
I think the fact that no-one's really been talking about it very much at all since it came out pretty much sums up the whole experience for me. It really didn't make much of a big impact on me, negative or positive. Of course, it will have made an incredible amount of money, but watching the actual film for me was such an uninspiring experience, that even though I watched it 10 days ago, I don't think I have thought about it once since.
Even with Episode One I thought about the lightsabre fights afterwards and still talk about them today!
Not to say that this film was anything like as bad as that pile of crap. But it was just so bland. I don't think I really got excited at one scene, *especially* the end. And that is a pretty hard feat to pull off with such a fantastically textured character as Indiana Jones that George and Steven had to play with.
There were four main problems with the film for me, all of which should have been recognised before production even started.
1. Too much action
2. Too many characters
3. Poorly edited and lacked any real narrative arc
4. It was about aliens.
Let me go over those in some more detail.
1. All of the Indiana Jones films are proper action films on some level, of course. They all featured 'unbelievable' moments (such as the more mystical or religious moments, or some ludicrous stunts), but all of those were forgiven by the fans because they were not only in a good old fashioned spirit of fun, but were also totally justified by the context. Each of the original films was grounded in reality on some level, and all of the crazy moments had a long buildup with a climax that seemed right. In this film, however, the crazy moments start from the first reel. The fridge business was a cheap laugh, frankly, and to put it in so early was to signal that the makers just weren't taking this film seriously at all. The action was relentless, and somehow unusually hollow for Spielberg. What on earth were those ants about? They had no justification or basis in anything. Neither did the Tarzan scene, or the random attack on Shia and Indy by those guys in masks. There was just too much of everything, and I am afraid to say that I actually stopped caring at some points. Because of a lack of decent buildup, there were *no* sequences that came close to the intensity of, for example, the tank scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark, the bridge scene in Temple of Doom, or the boat-chopping-up scene or grail-reaching moment in Last Crusade.
2. Not only were there too many characters, but not nearly enough time was spent on developing them. Last Crusade worked so well because Indy and Sean spent most of the film together, just them. In this one, we have a group of five people running around, for really no reason at all. Indy's Mrs had a few OK lines, but it felt like she was there just for the sake of it. Ray Winstone was totally pointless, and his character was unconvincing and very badly written and thought out. And the John Hurt character never really paid off in the way that he should have. I'm assuming there was a lot left on the cutting room floor there. Shia was pretty good though, in my opinion, but I wish the film could have been more about his relationship with Indy. I can't help but think that is they'd calmed down and focussed on that, then it could have been about Indy 'finally' growing up and maybe a new found responsiblity, and an end to risk-taking, or something like that. Cate Blanchett was ridiculous and not menacing or scary. Believers will probably point to the crazy Nazi guy in the first film as a precedent for such a silly character, but despite his panto-ness, he remained very threatening and disturbing, whereas Cate just had a stupid haircut and SWORD!
3. The whole thing often felt like a series of random scenes that George and Steven had storyboarded on napkins in the bar at Skywalker Ranch or something. I can only hope that they actually had a really good story, but had to cut out all the bits that made it make sense, or made you care, for time reasons. But they really should have watched some of the old films first, then taken another look at things like motivations of characters and development of themes before greenlighting a script that apparently took 20 years to write!
4. George Lucas is an idiot. I can only assume it was he who decided that it would be a really good idea to have aliens in Indiana Jones. It really wasn't a good idea. If they had waited until the very very very last scene to suggest that *maybe* there were aliens involved somehow, or if it had been left a mystery or something, then maybe that would have been pretty cool, but it was *confirmed* pretty early on that it was indeed aliens that were involved here. Haven't we heard enough about Roswell and all that crap already? And the way they did it was also very messy. Again, I think a lot of story was cut, as the random throwaway line at the end was stupid, stupid, stupid, and completely unecessary. As I recall, after the flying saucer took off, someone said:
"where are they going? space?"
then John Hurt's character said:
"no, a space BETWEEN space"
following on from some bizarre comment about the aliens being interdimensional beings earlier in the film. I mean, seriously. What the hell are they talking about, and why? It really took away from the impact of everything else that happened. Gone was the mythology or religious power of the other films. And, very worst of all, this really wasn't an original story at all. Ever read the Tintin book Flight 714? George and Steven are big Tintin fans, apparently. When you actually saw an actual alien at the end, I couldn't quite believe what I was seeing. You could feel the whole cinema sigh at the same time - as if to say: "oh. right, well I don't care about any of this any more then."
Conclusion!
I don't mean to sound like I hated this film, because I really didn't. The fact that I am such a sad bastard and have written so much about it shows that I do feel passionately about it though. There were also some fantastic moments in the film, and I liked the wedding ending. But I think part of the problem was that Indiana Jones had really only existed in one era, with one personality (and age!) until this film came out. It was always going to be different to reconcile Indy to a new world, and a new age and situation. They made a try (I particularly liked the Communist witchunt style firing of Indy), but tried too hard to make it like an old Indy film, and compensated for the fact that it never could be by inserting too much action.
What frustrates me is that, as with Star Wars, this film had not only a nearly infinite potential budget, but had two decades in which to have been thought through. And they still kind of messed it up, which I think is pretty unforgivable. It should have been new and original, though in the style and spirit of the first films. But it just paid lip service to the new world and age, and never really got to grips with it, instead inserting more and more pointless, confusing, and uninspiring strands to the movie.
I also couldn't help thinking that if this wasn't an Indiana Jones film, it might not be worth watching at all (verging, but not quite, on Tomb Raider or *shudder* National Treasure at times).
But what dissapoints me most is that this film is EXACTLY what I thought it was going to be: dissapointing and pointless!
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